Sunday, January 11, 2009

Speechless......


Sometimes saying nothing is the best thing for everyone involved. Take last week for instance. I was sitting in RS and the sweet lady conducting was also in charge of the lesson. Her lesson was a video which she planned to show us on a large screen TV that is to be checked out from the library.

Here's where it gets interesting. This sweet lady didn't get to the library in time to get the large screen TV. The only TV left was a TV the size of a postage stamp (her words). The large screen TV was checked out by the Bishopric.

Rewind to sacrament meeting.

The only member of the Bishopric stands up and excuses the Bishop and Second Councilor as they are both out of town visiting family. The First Councilor is the only member of the Bishopric in the building.

Fast forward to the present.

The sweet RS Councilor who is conducting/teaching/setting up the TV begins a monologue as she sets up said postage stamp (her words) TV.

Her: I'm so sorry sisters that we are stuck with this TV. The Bishopric has the other one. They got to it first. We are stuck with this one. I hope you all can see it because the Bishopric has the large screen TV.

Me (thinking to myself): What the what? (just kidding! I just stole that from Shelle. It will keep me from using bad words....especially in church). Did she just say "the Bishopric"?

Her: I'm so sorry sisters with the delay. I'm so glad we had Bro. X here to help us fix this TV otherwise we would be in trouble because the Bishopric has the other larger TV.

Me (thinking to myself): Seriously, did she just say "the Bishopric" again?!?! My hubby is the only one here today....he IS "the Bishopric" today!

Sister A to Sister B: You know my sister says that women in the Church are repressed.

Me: (Biting my tongue until I tasted blood.)

Her: Ok sisters, I think we got this all figured out. I hope you can all see this because the Bishopric has the other large TV.

ALRIGHT! I was going to investigate "what the what" "the Bishopric" was doing with the large screen TV.

I marched down to the High Priest room. No "Bishopric". I was pointed in the direction of the Priesthood room. I opened the door and through a series of sign language motions managed to get "the Bishopric" to the door.

I asked "the Bishopric" aka the hubby, what the large TV was being used for and was told that the YM/YW were in a joint meeting and were using it.

I returned to my seat to watch the life of Joseph Smith on the postage stamp TV to the sounds of sighs and humphs because Sister A couldn't see the screen. I guess she was feeling repressed today.

During the video on Joseph Smith I visualized myself standing up from my seat and setting the class straight on the whole TV situation.

I knew it was time to leave.

Some things are better left unsaid. Do you hear anyone speaking? I don't!

48 comments:

Tyler and Kacie said...

Oh, man! I know that HAD to be hard for you! I am very proud of you for not swearing though-you go girl!!!...work it!

Kristina P. said...

I would have had your husband go in and ask where the large TV was. Hilarious!

Kazzy said...

That's a tough one! It would have been very hard to keep quiet. I really don't know that I could have. And, btw, don't they have a sign out paper where she could have reserved it. Love the "what the what"! Repressed women of the world, unite (kidding, of course)!

Sandi said...

Kristina's idea was great...I so wish that he would have stormed right into the repressed ladies meeting and demanded to know who the blankety blank had his big screen TV....now THAT would have been a good day in RS

Anthon and Jennifer Ellsworth said...

You're better than I am! I totally would have said something!!
Poor Uncle John, getting blamed for it :o(

Heidi Ashworth said...

Glad you didn't say anything==not worth it. But it would have been hard if I were in your shoes!

Sandi said...

Okay April this is totally random, but that is how I am. I was just looking at your pic with your 2 guys giving you a smooch and I noticed that Hubby's eyes are opened and son's eyes are closed. Do you think that means anything? hahahaha

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I like Kristina's idea. ha ha ha ha ha ha hah a

That was so cute, April. I think it's fun to speak up if you can make everyone laugh while you're poking the cute little repressed teacher in the eye.

Your word verifier say mudee. That's cute. Just like you.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ooh, now it says blessesh. That is even cuter.

blessesh you, April.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

slytter.

That's cut and edgy. Repressed sisters as such slytters.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Ok, April have you seen the newest version of Pride and Prejudice, the one that is set in Provo? Maybe it is not the newest, but anyway. Well there is the most heeeelarious scene in that movie, where the Mr Collins character is bearing his testimony about how rude it was for the Elizabeth character to refuse to date/marry him. Most inappropriate discussion for sacrament meeting. And then Elizabeth day dreams that she stands up and hurls a hymnbook at him and whaps him upside the head. It is so funny I crack up just thinking about it.

So do you think along with your golden silence, anyone would have noticed if you hit someone upside the head with a hymn book?

Just a thought.

And it is unfortunate that we can't each have our own church building to attend then we would never be bothered by anyone else at church. I think it would be much easier to become one, seperately, don't you?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Ok, April have you seen the newest version of Pride and Prejudice, the one that is set in Provo? Maybe it is not the newest, but anyway. Well there is the most heeeelarious scene in that movie, where the Mr Collins character is bearing his testimony about how rude it was for the Elizabeth character to refuse to date/marry him. Most inappropriate discussion for sacrament meeting. And then Elizabeth day dreams that she stands up and hurls a hymnbook at him and whaps him upside the head. It is so funny I crack up just thinking about it.

So do you think along with your golden silence, anyone would have noticed if you hit someone upside the head with a hymn book?

Just a thought.

And it is unfortunate that we can't each have our own church building to attend then we would never be bothered by anyone else at church. I think it would be much easier to become one, seperately, don't you?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

sorry I don't know why that posted twice.

Sandi said...

cause you are a nutty hamster chick, thats why.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

he he he he Sandi you are so silly, yes that must be why. Thanks for reminding me. I forgot, kind of like when you get your hair cut and it takes your breath away each time you see yourself in the mirror, and you say "Who the helk is that", and "What the what", yea like that.

April said...

Kacie-I am trying sooo hard to use good words, especially at church! That's why I stole "what the what" from Shelle!

Kristina!! AWESOME idea!!! I was too much in shock to think of that! (And biting my tongue...kinda hard to tell hubby what to do when biting your tongue!)

Kazzy-Ever since I found my voice (not my singing voice like you but my talking one) I have had to be VERY careful when faced with sticky situations like this!

Sandi, SERIOUSLY! Can you see Drew storming anywhere (except on a ball field/court)? BTW, Drew still likes to look at me when we kiss....and Broc is just silly!

Jenny!!!! Why aren't you at the hospital having that baby???

Heidi-it totally would not have been worth it in the long run. But, that little devil in me just wanted to see cry out...FOR THE LOVE!!!

OHHHH Crash! I forgot about the poke in the eye! It wouldn't have hurt much, just smudged her glasses! hehehehe

Hamster Chick- I haven't seen the LDS version! That sounds funny! I wonder if they tweaked that hymn book throwing scene from my sister's ward where a man stood up and said, "I'm having an affair with THAT WOMAN." (And pointed to a woman in the congregation.) The woman was stunned and then jumped up and ran out crying. After a poet pause the man continued, "In my heart".
I said I wonder if they tweaked that hymn book scene...oh never mind...you posted twice by mistake!

Funny Farmer said...

Oh for the love of martyrs. I don't think I could have held my tongue. Especially with the whole "repressed" remark. Give me a freaking break.

:counting to 1000 while taking deep cleansing breaths:

Sandi said...

You and Drew still kiss???????????

April said...

ps-she is not a repressed lady by any means....that's why it was soooo hard to keep in my seat. Did I mention I left early?

April said...

Sandi--only for pictures or if I've had too much to drink. (Diet coke that is)

Annie Valentine said...

My mother say's she's thankful for the things she never said.

Smart girl. If it had been me, I'd probably have been escorted out by security (aka my husband).

April said...

Annie-when I grow up I hope to be just like your mom. Baby steps!

Sarah Pace said...

Oh thats to much!!!! I would have said something but it would have got me in trouble! Your better than me!
I din't know uncle Drew was in the Bishopric!

Sarah Pace said...

P.S. So lucky you get to go to Wicked!!! I want to go so bad! let me know how it was!

Sandi said...

April are you here? I thought we were meeting for family prayer....where did everyone go?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

im so sorry about what happened gotta hurt







lol this is crashes son

April, that was my know it all son.

Good luck tomorrow. I hope all goes well. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

April said...

I didn't realize we were meeting here. I just got home from work. False alarm....well not false alarm. Just not well educated staff on the formalities of the process. So now I start tomorrow. That is, after I broke out in a rash, and told them that I had booked time off work and it was now or never....that's kind of how it went. I didn't hold my tongue THIS time.

April said...

Cute boy you have there Crash! takes after his mother I see! hehehehe!!

T said...

ooooh, you are AMAZING because I would have had to offer a few blankety blankety what the whats... at least under my breath :)

April said...

I'm really trying!! I promise!!! The dog has heard most of it though!! hahahaha!!!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Good for you, April! I don't think I could have stayed silent. I totally would have said something, even if it was under my breath and only the woman next to me heard it.

I've got to track Shelle down because I heard "what the what?" from Tina Fey on 30 Rock like a year ago and use it all the time around the house. I want to know if she got it from the same source because if she didn't, how weird would that be? Funny that we're both attracted to the phrase. Must be the cousin genes.

Stephen said...

April, take care of yourself, and fight on. I will send out an apostate prayer for you.

Anjeny said...

Good luck tomorrow April...you'll be in my prayers.
That lady giving the lesson was lucky to have you in her ward...I would have totally spoke up and asked her how a majority out-of-town bishopric could be checking out the big screen TV. But of course, like all these ladies here said, you are the BETTER woman.
Again, good luck!!

April said...

Alyson--I still have a scar from biting my tongue so hard! But I didn't hold my tongue with my hubby. He got pulled out a second time for me to "vent"!

Stephen--all sincere prayers are good prayers even when my little nephew prays for the boat to go fast, fast, fast! Thanks again!

Anjeny--thanks so much for the prayers and the belated way to handle the situation! Where we you when I needed a smart-a comeback????? huh? huh?

Hey Farmer--way back there!!! Sorry I missed spelling your name out!! How rude!!!

Sandi said...

Well my dear, this is what you knew was going to happen and blogdarnit you were right. Well I guess that just gives us a few more days for a few more prayers huh? Now who was supposed to be bringing you over that soup with my name on it? we better let them know the change in plans! Really though, you know I'm thinking aboutcha...right?

April said...

Sandi-I do know! You are so awesome! Thanks!! I just was prepped today on how radioactive I will be for the first 3 days....apparently no one can be in the same room with me for more than 15 minutes!!! I will definitely get a lot of reading done! Helloooo Miss Delacourt!

Kritta22 said...

LOL I'm with Kristina P! That would have been awesome!! Or you guys should have borrowed it for the bishopric and watch cartoons in his office!!

Kritta22 said...

I'm coming back on Friday cuz I LY. Do you get to blog?

I am LoW said...

haha! Love the post! And I LOVE that you went to investigate!! haha

SWIRL said...

I'm over here from CRASH's site- thought we were having family prayer..
:p

Don't want to miss the fist fight- if it is anything like the family prayers at my house...

let me just poke CRASH in the eye- cuz she is always doing that to other people.

But seriously
wishing you the best of luck tomorrow... you'll be in my thoughts and prayers too.. even if CRASH is poking my eye.

April said...

Kritta--Cartoons would have been a better option than someone sighing in my ear! thanks for the love!

LoW--How could I now go investigate....my hubby's name was used in vain too much...besides, it's harder for lightening to hit a moving target.

Swirl- bring your safety glasses to family prayer and your eyes should be fine! I hear Crash has lightening fast fingers! Unless it involves a flat iron.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

OH MY GAD...You can USE WHAT THE WHAT anytime...because that MORE than deserved it!

I mean get OVER it right? You snooze you lose...whether or not it was being used for a righteous purpose!

Totally lame!

I seriously hate when people do that! YOu are a bigger person than me...I would have made a humorous/saracstic remark back or under my breath but loud enough for everyone to hear! lol!

nevadanista said...

Cyber hugs and best wishes during your treatment!!!

April said...

Thanks Shelle!! I need to use it MORE in place of OTHER not so nice words! I'm not a good under my breath talker when I've got veins about to pop on my forehead....I need to work on that!

Welcome Nevadanista and thanks for the hugs and well wishes...I am pretty nervous...I am a worrier!

Anjeny said...

Hugs coming ur way from the other side of the ocean.
Next time u come across another "tongue biting" moment, lemme know, I'll cyber express myself over to you and see what witty remarks I can make on your behalf, ok? LOL
You're going to be ok...you have a lot of people who are rooting for you.

April said...

Thanks Anjeny! Usually I can come up with some great ones! But I think I was in shock and breaking out in a rash....I am allergic to stupid people you know! I am feeling the looove!! thank you!!!

T said...

April - I happen to own a LOT of books... so if you finish Miss Delacourt and need some more reading material... just shout out - I promise to stay outside the quarantine zone :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Your verifier says mumsh

ha ha That's like a double message from the universe to keep your trap shut.

ha ha

Good luck tomorrow! LY