Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Lions & Tigers & Bears, OH MY!


NO.

I haven't been off to see the wizard.

But this past week, I have been to that place in Oz where those infernal flying monkeys buzz around your head and dive bomb you.

I've been visiting that place where just the thought of Munchkins dancing around would cause you to pick one up and toss them head first at Galinda and her irritatingly sweet voice.

This week week I have been visiting the land where the yellow brick road does not reach. The land where the roads aren't paved in gold.

It is the land where you are forbidden to take your thyroid meds for two weeks, and as a result you also forget to take your hormones as well.

In this land for the duration of my stay, I will be donning a bathing suit, in my whiteness and all, humming the tunes of WICKED. The bathing suit will help with the hot flashes, the humming I'm hoping will help me get to a happy place for the sake of my family.

Please pray for them.

I hope they make it out of this land alive.


How long does it take hormones to kick back in? Maybe I'll ask one of the flying monkeys.

Monday, March 22, 2010

So A Lady Walks Into A Doctor's Office....


Why, why, why, must we step on that infernal scale EVERY time we walk into the doctor's office?

WHY?????

I think next time when I am asked to step on the scale I will say...."after you!" And see what happens.

You know your weight is then catalogued and followed with a follow up comment. The comment to me was...."Oh, you seem to have gained a few pounds."

{Gasp} "Really?" <----(sarcasm)

"No wonder my belt has seemed a little tighter." (Looking for whole to crawl into.)

But not to worry! After my two shots of thyrogen and my radioidine pill, I don't feel like eating. So, when I go in to visit the doctor in a few weeks, my belt will fit just fine!