THE GRADUATE

Broc and me before commencement exercises.

Broc with his brother Chase, and with his dad showing a rare smile!

The family after graduation posing for the camera. Drew smiling as usual. :)

THE GRADUATE

(AND WHAT THIS MEANS FOR ME)

I never thought this day would come. Some days seem to drag on forever. Sometimes bedtime did not come fast enough. I was warned about this day. I was warned by moms who had "been there", "done that".

I am a step away from being an empty nester. I know, I don't look that old. (QUIT LAUGHING! I can hear you!)

Broc graduated from HS last week. We only had one minor incident with him at his graduation. The part where he glided across the stage on his heelies after he got his certificate. Other than that everything went off without a hitch.

Now, in the fall, he will go to the local college for a year. He's only 17. We have to keep him busy until he's 19. We have 14 months to go. Wish me luck. He's a flirt.

After that, Chase (our oldest) will be enrolling in college. He too will be moving away from home. He is working and earning money right now. The job he has right now already takes him away from home during the week and he is home on the weekends. We are almost there.

So, come next summer, my hubby and I will be in our mid to late 40's and have no kids at home. That is weird! The house will be quiet except for the dog freaking out every time we come home. So happy to see us after she has spent a long day napping.

Maybe one of the boys will take her with them. Can dogs go on missions? Hmmmmm.

The Shackles ARE Falling

As I was sitting at the computer this morning, I heard the following distinct phrase in my head....

the shackles are falling....chains of the bondsmen no longer are bright. (LDS HYMN #237, Do What Is Right)

Yes, it is true. Though the past couple of days have been rough. Some of the things I have been working through have been hard......the shackles are falling.

The puzzle pieces lay on the floor.

I have walked away.

My hands are free.

The shackles are falling.

I am "brightened by hope".

I am pressing onward.

I am worth it.

The shackles ARE falling.

It feels wonderful!

Not for the Weak

Change is not for the weak.

And right now, I am weak.

I am tired of change.

Tired of changing.

I am tired of putting my brain through one change after another.

Now I'm just whining. But you get my point don't you?

Change is hard.

Change for the better is good, but I feel like I've been through the ringer! You know the old ringer washer where you would feed the clothes through the two rollers. As the clothes go through the rollers the excess water is squeezed out.




I feel like a piece of clothing going through the rollers. I am being squeezed. I have nothing left.

I am trying to assimilate what I am learning into my life and trying to eliminate what I don't need. It sounds so simple.

Now picture yourself holding a jigsaw puzzle.

And imagine that puzzle you are holding represents your life.

As you are holding your life in your hands, you are told to drop that puzzle on the ground.

You know that if you do this that it will break into hundreds of pieces. You also know that you can't do anything while you are stuck holding a jigsaw puzzle. If you drop the puzzle, your hands are free. However, if you hold onto it, you are bound. The dropping of that puzzle represents the beginning of your freedom. So, you weigh out your choices.

What kind of life will you have walking around with a puzzle in your hands the rest of your life? Guarding it ever so carefully so that nothing happens to it. What kind of life is that? It is a safe life. It is a life that you may be comfortable with. It is a life that you know. But it is not the best life for you. It is not the best life for me. So out I step. Out of my comfort zone. The comfort zone that has protected me for so many years. Yet this protection has come with a cost. The cost is joy, happiness, friendship, love of self.

I drop the puzzle. I drop the life I know so well.


The puzzle pieces now lay on the ground. Some lay face up and some lay face down. When I chose to drop the puzzle and free my hands, I felt that I chose a monumental task for myself. I felt I would have to sift through all of these pieces to see what pieces were still relevant and what pieces were no longer relevant in my life. These pieces I would discard.

Day in and day out I have been racing through my thoughts, looking in the recesses of my mind for areas I may have missed. What if I missed this area? What if I forgot about that? I have been sorting through my mind as if it were the puzzle pieces that fell to the ground. I have been wasting my energies on "what if's" instead of focusing on the here and now. I felt life was getting in the way, instead of the puzzle pieces getting in the way of my life.

The puzzle pieces are on the ground. There they may stay.

I'm tired.

I'm hard on myself.

I don't want to look at any more puzzle pieces......maybe that's why I'm on day 2 of a migraine.

I want my life.

The Rest of the BBFF's Story (Not for the Queasy)

Tuesday was an AWESOME day!  I got to meet up with 3 blog friends!  I know you're jealous!  

I had already met Nutty Hamster Chick (Pat) last month when she won the WICKED ticket and we went to see it with Serenity Now (Robin -my sister) and my sister-in-law.  

On Tuesday I was to meet up with Pat, T (You Asked For It) and Shelle!  I was soooooo excited!

So, on Tuesday, I was sitting at my desk at work.  It was 11:50am.  I was to meet the girls in 40 minutes.  My cell phone rings.  I don't recognize the number, so I answer it.

Me: Hello?

Man: Hello, Mrs E?  This is Mr So & So at Such & Such High School.  We have your son Broc in the office.  His finger is bleeding pretty badly and he's in a lot of pain.  His fingernail is hanging by a thread.  He was in ceramics class and a door fell on it.  He'll need to be taken to the doctor to have it looked at.

Me: (Thinking to myself) Oh CRAP!  I can't go pick him up and take him to the doctor!  I have a lunch date in half an hour!  He'll have to find another way to the doctor's office.  Will he hate me?  Oh, I don't care.  I have a lunch date with 3 blog friends!  The fingernail will have to wait!

Me: (after long pause) Someone, either myself (fat chance) or my husband will be there to pick Broc up in a little bit.  I'll try to get hold of my husband.

So, I scrambled!  

I called my husband, praying he didn't have any pressing meetings or appointments!  After all, I didn't want Broc to have to sit in the Office for a couple of hours in pain, while I had lunch!

WHEW!   Drew had no plans!

I gave Broc strict instruction NOT to show his dad his fingernail!  My hero doesn't do accidents, blood, needles, hospitals, childbirth or anything that involves trauma.

If he tries to, this is what happens.......

Because Broc was having this removed.........this is your gross photo warning....see above photo as to what could happen to you if you are faint of heart......(there Youngblood and Kazzy...is that better? hehehehehe)

But, then again, I had no idea, because I was too busy laughing at Shelle's space in her teeth, T throwing forks and buns on the floor, and learning how to make Pat's infamous face!

I think I'm in the running for Mother of the Year....what do you think?  This face for my picture?

Next time......pedicures!  NOT!