HOW STELLA......ERRR....APRIL GOT HER GROOVE BACK

The rumors are false, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.  I made it to the edge, but did not fall.  Cool huh?  Sooooooo............

If you are familiar with the movie starring Angela Bassett, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, then you will be totally disappointed with this post!  I am NOT Angela Bassett.  True story.  I am not a sexy successful stock broker (but who is these days).  I am a wife and mom making an effort to make changes in my life.  BIG CHANGES.  And there is no steamy Taye Diggs in my life who has tried to seduce me.  I have Drew!  

THIS IS REAL LIFE PEOPLE!!!  He snores, he doesn't throw things in the trash, he has to be reminded 9 0r 10 times to do something,  and he doesn't clean out the tub.  But would I trade him for anyone else?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  We have been to hell and back and we still love each other.  We still respect each other.   (How lucky we are to have come out of everything still in love, still respecting each other, still communicating with each other.    There are so many who fall victim to day to day life.)  

The only similarity between Stella and I (is that even proper grammar?) is that I too am starting to get my groove back.  I am realizing what REALLY is important in life.  I knew intellectually what was important.  I just wasn't allowing myself to believe that I was worthy to have those things.  I am.  I deserve it.  I am worthy.  The sooner I accept it, the sooner my family will be able to have ALL of me and not just part of me.  Is this making sense to you?  

I am not known to be a fast learner.  I have a stubborn streak (or two).  I have been known to wear my finger nails down to the quick because of hanging on to the past for dear life.  I hang on because this is all I know.  This all I have.  It is like an old friend.  Does that sound familiar?  I just needed the tools and the guidance to move forward.  I have been searching for this.  I knew that when I heard what was right for me I would recognize it.  I have heard it.  It struck a chord.

Like a jig saw puzzle, the pieces are starting to fall into place.  Tender mercies are being shown to me. I am being shown a new way of "being" and living.  I have hope for change and a permanent change at that.  People are being brought into my life and these people teach me every day!  I LOVE IT!!!  It is amazing!  It is changing my life!

Sounds easy right?  I've made changes before.  BIG CHANGES.  So imagine my utter joy to make some more!  (Note the sarcasm.)  YEAH!!!  Even my sarcasm is returning!!!  I thought I had lost it forever!!!  

Let's pause for a moment of silence for the return of my sarcasm that I thought was lost.........................................................................................................................................

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AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....that felt great!

Now, the bad news......just kidding!  A new and improved me is returning....I am trying to get the feel of the new me.  So, bear with me just a little longer. 

Oh, and did I mention that my son gets home from his mission in 12 DAYS!!!!  AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!  I'm about to burst!!!!

What I Learned On My Hiatus

I am always learning things. (Whether I retain it or not is another thing. My brain hasn't been that good lately. Maybe going to the beach would help.)

Whether it is from people I know in my real world, from my blog friends or from my friends and family, I learn from them.

This past week I learned that--a bad day is just a bad day.

Did anyone else know this? Was I the only one who didn't know this?

I thought that if I had a bad day, that somehow, I was responsible for my bad day. I felt that there was some way I could have made it better. But, I would take it a step further because being the overachiever that I am, if someone else had a bad day, I felt impelled to "fix" it. I thought it was my responsibility to do so.

Oh the RELIEF!!!

I didn't know that sometimes a bad day is JUST a bad day. It may even turn into a bad week. That is ok. (At least that is what I am practicing saying in my head at this point.)

PEOPLE! I have just had a break through here!

I don't have to be funny all of the time!

I don't have to have great days all of the time!

I don't have to hold down two jobs! (Which by the way, kicked my butt and put me in bed because I am still too sick to hold down even one full-time job. --See what I mean about overachieving?--)

OH MY GOSH!!!

My load has just been lightened!!

Ice cream for everyone!

PS-Thanks to all for checking on me! I am improving day by day. You guys ROCK!