Sunday, March 1, 2009

What I Learned On My Hiatus

I am always learning things. (Whether I retain it or not is another thing. My brain hasn't been that good lately. Maybe going to the beach would help.)

Whether it is from people I know in my real world, from my blog friends or from my friends and family, I learn from them.

This past week I learned that--a bad day is just a bad day.

Did anyone else know this? Was I the only one who didn't know this?

I thought that if I had a bad day, that somehow, I was responsible for my bad day. I felt that there was some way I could have made it better. But, I would take it a step further because being the overachiever that I am, if someone else had a bad day, I felt impelled to "fix" it. I thought it was my responsibility to do so.

Oh the RELIEF!!!

I didn't know that sometimes a bad day is JUST a bad day. It may even turn into a bad week. That is ok. (At least that is what I am practicing saying in my head at this point.)

PEOPLE! I have just had a break through here!

I don't have to be funny all of the time!

I don't have to have great days all of the time!

I don't have to hold down two jobs! (Which by the way, kicked my butt and put me in bed because I am still too sick to hold down even one full-time job. --See what I mean about overachieving?--)


My load has just been lightened!!

Ice cream for everyone!

PS-Thanks to all for checking on me! I am improving day by day. You guys ROCK!


Lee-Ann said...

There is no such thing as bad days- only bad attitudes. Okay, okay that is something our mothers would say to us. Seriously, I like bad days. Sometimes I just want to feel crummy and sorry for myself. At least if I am having a bad day I know I'm not dead yet because who has bad days in Heaven? What a minute. Maybe I am dead but I'm not in Heaven - hmmmm

Anjeny said...


Oh how happy I am to see you again, virtually speaking I mean. It is really good to see your fingerprints again. I am glad to know that you know you don't have to be funny or be responsible for the bad days in your life or mine, or hers or his or whoever.

I hope now that you've made your discovery, you won't be so hard on yourself again and take the time to pamper yourself and take a break.

I have missed you so welcome back!! Hugs and loads of hugs to ya!!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Boo for bad days and bad weeks, and bad years for that matter. But I am glad you have had a break through. I keep trying to figure out what I am suppose to be learning for this current lesson to be over. NO luck so far.

Keep hangin' in there. Apparently that is the only option. If you find another one, please share it with me.

I have missed you as well.

Kazzy said...

Welcome back! I have had had plenty of bad days that have become viral and spread into other bad days. Normal. You have so many things to say here, and it doesn't need to make us roll on the floor laughing. although you are darn good at that. I just like to hear your voice. That's it, plain and simple. Take care.

Barbaloot said...

Good point---sometimes you just have a bad day. Hopefully we can pull an Anne Shirley the next day and have a clean slate to start over:)

Glad to have you back!

T said...

We have a saying in our family - when my kids tell me they are having "the worst day of their lives" - we talk about it for a few minutes and then proclaim it as "the worst 5 minutes of their lives" - maybe even the worst 30 minutes... but day?

Not that I wouldn't like to think that my worst day ever is past... it all gets better from here? woo-hoo

Melanie J said...

Oh, goody! I was wanting ice cream for breakfast and now I can have it, guilt free.

The Papa's said...

You've truly been missed!!! Really, work just isn't the same without you!!! And look @ all of the exciting things you've missed:
*a fight
*a dented elevator
*E... being taken by ambulance
*guy being tasered, cuffed & dropped to the ground all because he went for the cop's gun!!!

I hope your feeling better & you can come "back to us" quickly.

Roxanne P.

Kristina P. said...

I've been thinking about you!

And I'm glad you made a breakthrough. I need to do the same!

April said...

Hey Lee-Ann I hope the move went well. I know that attitude does account for a lot. Unfortunately mine tends to be guilt based. I am working on it! I have always felt it my responsibility to take care of others needs before my own. Now I am taking care of me. Weird feeling.

Anjeny thanks cute girl! I just wore myself out with the taking on an extra job. I am almost back to half speed! I am working at being nice to myself! Thanks for the hugs.

NHC sometimes it takes me a loooong time to learn what I need to learn from a person, or a situation or a trial. I hate it when that happens! Then other times I think I have learned what I have needed from a situation only to find myself in the same scenario yet again. Then I get frustrated. Is this where you are? I bet so. I'm sorry.

April said...

Kazzy thanks so much! I really have missed you and all of my other real and blog friends. I just needed some time to think and reorganize my thoughts. It's hard for me to think clearly when I am exhausted.

Barb- I love do-overs and I love the feeling when I have learned a life lesson! I get a feeling of freshness and newness. It's wonderful.

T- I love how you are teaching your kids. I have talked to my children about not dwelling on the negative. I tend to blame myself if things don't go smoothly. But, there must be opposition in all things, so therefore, a bad day is just a bad day, and you just do your best to get through it. It doesn't mean I am a bad person.

Hand Melanie some ice cream and a toothbrush! Woo HOOOOO!!!!

Roxanne, why is it that I miss out on all of the cool stuff? Not the fun stuff, cause I get to work with you and Mona, but the cool stuff! RATS!!!

April said...

Kristina, thanks so funny girl! I hope your get together was a blast. Did you have a good turn-out? I love break throughs. They make me think and think some more.

robin said...

don't you hate it when your own sister gives you a bad day cause she doesn't understand your explanation of a bad day because your sister had a bad brain??? that really stinks!!!

forgive me???

robin said...

can I still have the ice cream?

Sandi said...

Dang girl, I was just about ready to send out the search and rescue team! I did know you were alive from your few comments on facebook, but still I was getting worried. I don't even have time to read this right now, but I saw it up so I had to come and say I'm glad you are alive and I will come back this afternoon and read it and make a very smart and insightful and encouraging comment. Because that is the kind of girl I am.

The Papa's said...

Ok, so NO one got tasered @ work, that was just a nasty rumor going around. I stand corrected!!! But it all was still very exciting!!! Next, tell Drew I'm sorry about the puke all over Costco (he'll know what you're talking about). And finally, I have arrived....meaning I finally signed up for a Facebook account, look me up!!!;0)

dede said...

I just had a really bad 10 minutes (which was my fault) BUT now that I know I can dig into that ice cream in my freezer, i am HAPPY!!
thanks (and I am sure the kids thank you too!!)

welcome back - missed you!

April said...

Robin-I just made lemonade instead....I'll explain later. hahahaha! NO ICE CREAM FOR YOU! ONE DAY!! Fine! You can have ice cream!

Sandi! I'm alive! I wore myself out! WAY BAD! I feel encouraged already! WOW!

SUZ!!! I heard about the puke! How sad! I hope your poor little boy gets better soon and that you can get the puke smell out of your nose! I hate that smell!

Thanks Dede! It feels good to get back into the swing of things!

robin said...

Brett was mad a me after I told him I gave you a bad day because he was afraid he was going to have to hire another painter.

I don't deserve ice cream. I'll eat a bowl of lima beans instead. They're awful.

April said...

You can share your ice cream with Brett and then cover your nose. That is punishment enough! You didn't give me a bad day. I am glad your brain finally understood what I was trying to explain to you....from one topomax brain to another.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh April! What an insight. I'm going to add a song to my playlist just for you because I missed you so much and I never want you to feel responsible for the world's gloom again!

I was so excited to see you again on my blog last night. I've missed you. I hope you're feeling better soon. I've been a bit out of the loop too (for me).

And I haven't felt funny either because I'm reading books about drug addiction and it triggers anxiety. Actually, your verifier says derte and that's how it makes me feel, derte, like I need to take a shower.


wendy said...

YAY!!!!!! your back. I was worried about ya. Just re-finding my sis and all, I didn't want to loose you again. Another reason we must be from the same gene pool---I TOO THINK I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY ROTTEN THING IN LIFE. I am suprised I didn't think 9-11 was my fault. My kids have a bad day --my fault. My husband has a bad day - my fault. Work not going well - my fault. ME not having a good day - cause I deserve it. (see where this is going) It gets to the point sometimes I have to "leave, emotionally and sometimes physically--from everyone for a moment". Perhaps therapy is needed-------(she'd probably tell me it is my fault)
But you are loved and I am glad it was just a bad day------
and I am sorry if it was my fault.

SWIRL said...

hey! thanks for stopping by I'm glad - I've been thinking of you!

What I love love love about my mom.. is whenever we were having a bad day... (my senior year was filled with these.. my dad away with the Navy and my younger brother on drugs- but we hadn't identified it yet...) we would be out grocery shopping or something random and she would throw a zinger... like rent a movie, or get milkshakes, some unexpected treat because "we deserved it". I never knew why we deserved it... but I never questioned it too long and just enjoyed the moment.

Bad days now.. just give me a reason to do something unexpected.. just cuz I deserve it! It really is true.. that bad.. make the good days so much sweeter!

April said...

Thanks Crash! I have missed you too! I have missed all the songs and fun in your comment box, but I just needed some time to process stuff. (I had help coming to this realization as well! If you know what I mean ;) )

Wendy it wasn't your fault, it was just a bad day. See how that works? It's awesome! No guilt needed. No shame necessary. Sometimes things just happen that we can't up control....I am working on it! See, we were separated at birth, a couple of years apart! hehehehe!

SWIRL!!!! I LOVE IT!! I deserve it, you deserve it, we all deserve it!!!! YES!!! Perfect! Your mom is awesome!

val of the south said...

Yay, you're back!!!

I missed you!! Ice cream for rock! Thanks for sharing the spoils of your're the best!!

April said...

Hey Val! There's nothing better than shaking up your dietary needs in the am! I am glad you are out of your boot!

Mindie said...

I just have to say I miss you SOOOO much! You were always good times! Hope you are doing well!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Look! 27 comments! Lotsa people love you! I feel so bad that I wasn't one of those who checked on you. I DID think about you, though. Does that count? I have been having a bad month. Does that make sense? Anyway, I am so sorry you are still not up to snuff--that really stinks! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you!

April said...

Mindie!!! I miss you too gf!! YOU were good times!!!

Hey Heidi! February has kicked my butt! Sounds like you've been kicked around a little too! Thanks for thinking of me! I hope March is better for both of us!

Sandi said...

Okay so I said I would come back and be encouraging, but by the time I got here you already had all these words of wisdom so now I will just try to absorb it all and hope that you are feeling better and that the bad days are getting fewer and fewer!

Kristina P. said...

Are you on hiatus again? I hope all is well!