I found my key the other day. I didn't know it was lost. It isn't a key to any tangible door. I had an "AHA" moment, and then, right before me was the key.
My key.
A key that I had begged for. Cried for. Longed for. Hoped for. Prayed for. There it was, right in front of me.
I have been searching for control in my life. Control over my life. Control of my life. The more things I tried to control the less control I seemed to have. That was THE KEY. I was trying to control THINGS, while still allowing OTHERS to have control over me.
I have found my key. CHOICE.
I choose to take my life back. I choose to be responsible for my life. That means I hold no one else responsible for what happens to me.
I CHOOSE ME.
For those of you who know me, or of my circumstance, THIS IS BIG.
I have allowed others to have too much control over my life. I allow what others think of me to dictate what I will say, how I will act or who I will be.
I am good enough as I am.
I am worthy of love as I am, just because I AM.
I choose to be happy instead of indifferent.
I choose to love not just be loved.
I choose peace instead of anger.
I choose my husband and sons.
I choose joy.
By choosing my own destiny I am taking back my life. The life I have been searching for all these years.
I thank God for small miracles and ask for one more.
(I went to the doctor this week and received some not so great news. I will know more in July. You may get to see me glow again.)
