It's not easy being the mom of a 17 year old boy. He's cute. He's funny. He's freaking adorable. Therein lies the problem. We have a family rule. Ok, "I" have a family rule: There are to be NO girlfriends/steady dating until the age of 21.
I can hear you laughing! I hear the snickers! You are wondering how I can pull that off! Me too! But I won't admit it out loud! Never. No how. No way.
This is how the rule works: Boy B (my son) likes Girl A. Boy B can like Girl A all he wants. He can flirt with her. Talk to her. Visit with her at school at a friend's home where there are others around. Boy B asks said Girl A out on a date. Date ends. Boy B could have flirted all he wanted with Girl A. I don't care, date is over. Now the rule is in effect.
Boy B must now ask out Girls B-K before he asks Girl A out on a date again. End of story.
My reasoning is two-fold. One, Boy B is introduced to a bunch of different personalities to see what types of personalities he likes or dislikes. Secondly, he does not become too familiar with one single person, namely a girl and then become struck by her beauty and make stupid mistakes.
Women have that effect on men you know. Our beauty in all of its shapes and forms can mesmerize the menfolk. Men can literally become speechless with the smallest of provocations or is it provocativeness?
My hubby pretends not to see all the gorgeous beauties when we are at Lake Powell. He knows what is good for him. Unfortunately, my son hasn't grasped the art of concealment when viewing the bathing beauties, so one glance in his direction, mixed with a strong wind and I am drenched in saliva. He can't help himself. That is why we, I mean I have this house rule!
I won't lie. I have thwarted a couple of liasons Boy B has had here and there. But, like I tell Boy B and his brother.....Mothers ALWAYS find out. Mothers may not find out right away, but we find out eventually. Mothers have a network. We talk to each other. We help each other. If I see my friend's child doing something, you know darn sure that I will let the mom know what is going on. Because I would want that call. I am that mom. My poor boys! They don't stand a chance! Why? Because I love you.....that's why!
19 comments:
I have to give you credit where credit is due. You have the BEST mom radar I have EVER seen. Kudos!!!! I can only dream to have that kind of skill/gift/intuition/network call it what you will when my boys are teenagers. Something tells me I'm going to need it.
We have yet to inform our boys of this rule... being as we have only 3 more years before the oldest is allowed to date I suppose we should fine tune things a tad...
Just had to drop by when I noticed you're another local blogger (avoiding the local Target too!)
Yes it is the VERY same Target by Olive Garden...I'm so sorry! :( loL!
I don't have a 17 year old boy...but you are right...he is adorable and I say GOOD FOR YOU with your rule!
My mom had the same rule...I liked it...and I never felt like I missed out on anything...
If ANYTHING...I made a LOT more friends that way! :)
I think you should drive around and follow him and spy on him. That's what I would do.
OOOH so not looking foward to that age with my kids. I think I would rather the kicking and screaming and lots of noise than that worry!! Good luck with that one!
She does spy on him.... I was with her when she checked to see if he was where he was supposed to be. He has learned to tell his mom the truth because he never knows when she will check his story out.
We had a similar dating rule for our oldest (Boy B in my family is a bit of a homebody). He couldn't go out with the same girl twice in a row. But we only held onto it until high school graduation because he moved out to attend BYU and we lost control! I highly recommend it though. And Mother does ALWAYS find out. So does WIFE! LOL
If you can pull that off until they are 21 you deserve the mother of the decade. wow!
Don't you mean Lake Pow? It's in Utah, right? I have never heard anyone talk about a Lake Powell . . . (snicker). He is only 17? He is adorable! Okay, here's one to freak you out. Myself and my husband, the one to whom I have been married for nearly 23 years, and I started dating at age SEVENTEEN. Yep. 'strue. He did serve a mission for two years and I was pretty miserable but I did date others whilst he was gone. Then he came home and we got married. It hasn't always been easy--what marriage is?--but it has never been boring for one single second and I know what I knew then--he was the right one and still is. Scary, huh? SEVENTEEN! (don't have nightmares tonight, 'kay?)
HOLY POW!!!! Heidi I am bowing to you at this very moment!!! I couldn't wait that long! LOL!
My sis, Robin, actually has been with me as I have stalked my son Kristina...it was pretty fun. I was training her for when her 4 boys are older!
Sarah, c'mon, your parents were pretty strict when it came to boys. But there were all of you girls and your poor brother.
Us mothers have to unite like Kazzy, T and Shelle's mom! We must train our boys (in Shelle's case girls) to be gentlemen/ladies and to treat the people with respect. A seemingly lost art these days.
Stephen, I would LOVE to get the mother of the decade award, I would hang it beside my sister's Mother of the Year Award (real award)(Way to go Robin-is there anything you don't do half way Miss Valedictorian of BYU?).
I personally believe that all teenage boys should be locked up in their rooms so they will leave my lovely daughters alone forever and always.
Except for you boys of course because they are nice like their dad. but still.
Awesome plan - I hope Boy B doesn't see too much of Girl A behind your back (I was pretty good at that!)!
Love the picture!
So was I Dede....that's where I have the headstart....I am the girl..I know how we work. So I tell him how girls think. He looks at me like---How does she do that? And we come to an agreement. We are an open book family! It has worked with one, on to Boy B.
PS...Sandi, I as a mother of boys think that they should be locked up as well. But then I would face charges of one kind or another. And thanks for the compliment on my boys. I kinda like your girls!
This is a very good plan. Way to go. Keep up the good work. I think I could take some lessons from you.
i've seen your theory in affect and by darn you're good!!!
You are a brilliant evil genius mother.
I have been telling my five year old lately that kissing girls before you turn 21 is a s.i.n. and makes Heavenly Father really, really sad. At the moment, he actually believes kissing before marriage is bad.
I obviously learn this kind of manipulation from smart women like you.
Yes Tiff you have seen me at work! Unfortunately for Boy B, but fortunately for me, one of Boy B's jobs is at the same place where I work. So, if a girl flirts with him I have a lot of eyes that tell me so, and then I can corner said girl and grill her in public. It's awesome!!!
Just the other day one girl was shamelessly flirting with Boy B and so I let him choose who would get the brunt of my sarcasm, him or her. He honorably chose her. (He doesn't have a "thing" for this one.) Thank heavens!
I have a 19 and a 17 year old boys and I agree with everything you said 100%! :-)
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